A Note from a Killer

To the Webb family, I am truly sorry for what I have done.

I never meant to use my blade to take away your son.

I sit in my cell reflecting each day and all I do is cry.

I cannot explain what happened, I cannot even tell you why.

I took an action that has ruined so many lives.

All because on October 17th 2017 I went out with a knife.

At the time I really did not think, I really did not get.

That by hurting you I would live a life of regret.

I am so sorry for what I have done, I regret the very thing.

That has stained your family with a deathly sting.

If I had a wish, I wish I could bring him back.

I wish I never stabbed him in the chest and again in the back.

No one on earth deserves to die brutally young.

Especially those with great potential like Kyron your son.

In my dusty cell I sit and pray that Kyron has gone onto a better place.

My mum, she is ashamed of me, she sees me as such a disgrace.

One day I hope that with Kyron I can unite.

So I can apologise for my cowardly actions on that fateful night.

I ask God daily to grant him eternal peace.

A prayer for the rest of my life will never cease.

Words cannot express how I feel right now, I really was not raised this way.

Kyron is imprinted in my mind, I think of him every single day.

If I could chose my fate, I would have chosen the death penalty.

As the consequence for my actions when I was found guilty.

I promise in the future I will use my life to make this up to you.

I want to make you happy along with your sons and daughters too.

I know at this moment my presence must make you feel sick.

I dress in prison uniform alone in dust I sit.

I think of Kyron and see my life just speeding by

Without hope of happiness, like you all I do is cry

I am sorry Kyron for the dreams I have stolen and can never be true..

I will regret the title Murderer the name I inherited, the day that I killed you.

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

4 thoughts on “A Note from a Killer”

  1. wow it is written from the heart but i don’t know how i would feel to receive that as Kyron’s mother. That has made the hairs stand up on my arms and a shiver down my spine. Its all very well to sit in a jail cell regretting your actions and sure as hell that you’ve learned your lesson and that there’s no way that you are going back there again. Been there myself long time ago for driving offense nothing like this and losing your liberties. Eating when your told, sleeping when your told, not free to do your own thing but thats what it is isn’t it prison it’s loss of your liberties as a punishment for your own actions while you were free. You as a free person with liberties abused your freedom and face the consequences for this. And thats exactly what happens. I went to prison twice, short sentences long enough for me though but twice. i remember the first time thinking how am i here this can’t be real and i’m never going to do anything to risk ever going through this again. But i got out and continued with my liberties and freedom and yet went on to stupidly repeat offend. Serves me right, my point being it is all very well to regret your actions when your living with the consequences but when that has ended and you slip back into your life as a free person to make your own choices again, it is so easy to forget those thoughts and feelings is this the case for everyone, no. Is this the case for the writer of this beautiful heart felt poem……… only time will tell that. It must have been very hard for Phoenix to read that and to know what to feel. Very deep emotions very deep. god bless Kyrons family and mother especially. Sending love and strength. R.I.P Kyron may God be with you as are my thoughts xxx

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    1. Thank you Tracy for your insightful and thought provoking words. Rachel Webb was the lady that birthed and grew Kyron to the tender age of 15, Phoenix is the lady that rose from the bitter flames of grief as the ashes swirl and fall phoenix grows strength to rise on a bid to overcome this tribulation claim back the power that Rachel was given refine it with the knowledge and lessons learned from this tragedy and use it in a positive and restorative way.

      To receive this letter from my son’s killer rose a mixture of emotions. At first I was in disbelief and did not except that he had written one of the letters due to the language used in the correspondence. This one was handwritten and looked more authentic than the first which was typed.

      As I read the words I felt broken. To hear a 17 year old wanting the death penalty did not give me satisfaction, to read how his cell was dusty and dirty further pulled on my motherly heart strings was this his intention all along I don’t know but it drew from me empathy.

      I was embarrassed at this point as the compassion I should feel for my own son fell towards his killer. I was ashamed and hoped that Kyron would not be angry with me for caring. I cried. Many of my family and friends became angry upon reading. It’s a difficult, personal and challenging journey.

      Rachel a.k.a phoenix

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  2. I admire you and respect you, because I know that for you to come to this point it takes the Grace of God.
    I that God will strengthen you and give you his peace that passes all understanding.
    God bless you, I will keep you and the family in my prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

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