A few weeks ago I received a post from someone I have come to call friend asking who is the most important person/persons in a home. My immediate thought to answer was the children, as I have been conditioned with the notion that the children must come first. Intrigued I read on. The author went onto say that the parent was the most important person/person’s within the home, as without them the child/children will not be able to sustain life as they know it. How refreshing it was to read an article giving validation to the parent.
I reflected over my personal circumstance, thinking about the tears I was told not to cry as I should think of the children, thinking of the screams I was forbid to yell, as I was to think of the children, thinking of the brokenness I was asked to hide for the sake of the children. The days I rose in resentment as I was told it was best for the children, how easy would it have been to simply resent the children? as in part I was denied a safe place to heal simply because I have children.
Today’s message is directed to the parents and what I am promoting is self care.
The thought of putting yourself first seems wrong but let me make something clear.
When your on a plane in an emergency situation your told to apply your mask first.
As without your love and support the child’s reality will simply burst.
Are you aware that neglecting self care is deemed a public health issue?
As your children would not be who they are today, without the guidance from you.
Would it be okay if your child did not bath and the smell they birthed was unkind?
Then why would you deny the cleansing of yourself, and purification of your minds?
If your child was ill you would see the GP and in discipline administer the medication.
Yet when you suffer a decline and help is required, you stall with an awkward hesitation.
Could your child have a need that destroys them at the core leaving them in an emotional dehydration?
If no, why do you opt for self neglect, why in this do you submit your resignation?
If your child was in debt, would you leave them to drown or would you strive to assist their financial need?
Then why for your heart do you fail to settle the debt, your mind on negativity you leave it to feed.
How many parents become overwhelmed and drained to give your child your all?
Then when you are tired you call their name and they fail to answer your call.
It’s not because they don’t love you, it’s not because they don’t want to be there.
It’s simply because they now believe that you are the only one that must show you care.
They have been elevated to a place to only recognise their own needs,
As you magnified this and held your pain.
They have been taught that as long as they have no wants, as a family you have gained.
They have been conditioned to believe you have no need, holding a strength that never fails
They now believe you are that iron umbrella that can withstand the heaviest hail.
They cannot see your position, or value the importance of your post.
For you have taught that child to believe your required, but yet still a ghost.
You see, if we do not teach our children the value of having us here.
When we are broken in angry words will shout at them and say that they don’t care.
Remember in order for us to provoke balance, the chain of command must stand
Our children need a leader to look to, they need us parents to hold their hands.
So empower your mind, and protect your heart and seek what your soul needs
For a broken you, or a missing you will impact how your children succeed.
The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch