Time is a very important factor within life. Knowing the time something is due to happen by allows us to plan and take control in the management of tasks, routines and responsibilities. In short, time enables us to take control of our individual life as opposed to following the time and pattern set by someone else. Using resources such as a to do list, enables us to exercise constructive time management through a day. This in many cases will ensure that you complete and achieve more in any given day, while affectively managing those unforeseen interruptions.
We can manage things in list of priority and value without losing sight of our end goal and time restraints.
Time is a precious concept as with each minute that passes by is in actual fact less time we have to live on this Earth. Some who lived yesterday will not wake to conclude their plans for today, and those that wake this morning will not see the light of day tomorrow. We know we have no control over the time death choses to come, yet we still seek to control time in death. An example of these are the questions and statements I often hear and say such as “how long will this pain last?”, or “its been too long now it’s time you get over it” my question is where is grief’s rule book detailing time specific outcomes?.
Where are those SMART objectives that outline the specific goal of healing?. How will this healing process be measured?, if in actual fact I will achieve full healing, how realistic is healing for me and most importantly how long will it take me to get there with sufficient support and input from myself and others?.
All to often when time cannot be explained we are rebuffed with “well how long is a piece of string”. If in my situation you cannot provide a definite time to when I will feel better, why am I told enough is enough now; by whose rules is it enough?.
There is great value and importance in respecting and managing time,
Staff focus and attention is placed on the rota and wages with a notion this is mine.
It would seem time has lesser value there as the concept is just about the money,
However is time not more beneficial as time provides the hours to create financial harmony.
When feelings of sadness come I am told don’t worry everything will get better in time,
However with conditions such as depression and PTSD sadness comes like a wave to my mind.
I cannot control my personal thought and my countenance can appear pretty low,
The broken heart inside, the fear for my children’s survival simply steals my glow.
Time heals all wounds they say, but in actual fact time just teaches you skills,
Dulling the ache on days, as you learn to live with pain on your journey back up hill.
Time also allows the broken to worry, believing they are failures and therefore failing others,
As I felt I was a dead corpse trying to align myself to the behaviours of vibrant mothers.
Time brings experiences that mould us like pieces of clay and time is said to be a healer,
However time does not heal all wounds, just takes the edge of acute pain, you need a therapeutic dealer.
There comes a time for therapy, medical intervention, a holiday as we all need respite,
Time for acceptance and understanding that you will now battle an endless fight.
When people say okay get over it, it is not because your are taking up too much time with grief,
It’s simply because they cannot manage your sadness so your smile brings them relief.
However if you are abused as a child, in 30 years will that not impact how you still view your body?,
Would the childhood trauma simply dissolve, taking the pain saying “get over it man that’s shoddy”.
When your heart has loved a child from the moment of conception and then that child is taken away,
You have a serge of love with no place to go so the “get over it” is a silly thing to say.
Believe me as I tell you, as a grieving mum, there is no pleasure wallowing in negativity,
Sadness, anger, grief and blame are the undercurrent emotions that always consume me.
Saddened by the child I lost, while I hurt for those that still live,
Never wanting them to judge me for the love, covered in tears I now give.
The only way to validate time with these emotions is to simply allow them to run their course,
Don’t tell your loved one to get over it, when is it really enough?, simply show remorse.
Emotions work with time, but they have no specific rule or measure,
Each one of us deserve the emotions we have be it in sadness or in pleasure.
So when someone is grieving please be supportive and aid them to stand up,
Remember we all cope in different ways and times, so ignorance please shut up.
The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch