Tis the season to be jolly, but for many this is a significantly sad and unhappy time of year. It is a well known fact that depression affects more people during this festive season, with suicide rates at it’s peak in December. Christmas depression is something to take very seriously as it’s antecedents are things such as loss, feeling like a failure, or simply the sense of being alone and loneliness. Being around so much Christmas joy magnifies the contrast of the lows when surrounded by a Christmas lovers joy.

2018 has seen divorce, loss, death. With so many families that have lost a child
Reaching out in sadness when everyone appears joyous feels remote, so hurt simply piles
No one wants to bring down those around them, we do not wish to steal another’s joy
We do not wish to feel different, or alienated, but at this time we ache for our girls and boys
We long for that mother, father, our grandparent cousin or friend
We ache for a life in this year or past that came to a sudden end

To avoid bringing unwanted attention to ourselves, we try to disassociate from our own feelings
We inwardly ask self defeating questions like what is wrong with me?, why don’t I feel that Christmas healing?
Why do I feel like a stranger in a room full of happiness and cheer?
Why does this Christmas spirit walk around me and not acknowledge that I am here?
This time in England is deemed to be the happiest time of year, but yet I struggle to get out of bed
Plans for family gatherings, Christmas carols, “what I want for Christmas” is a sentence often said
I feel dysfunctional, out of place, silent, longing for a gift I cannot unwrap.
Longing for a life that the full life span has already been spent.

Expectation, debt, world events, aging family, the magnitude of existing problems
Impact many this time of year, not simply just loss brings the sadness of this anthem
When some reach out they are told I simply have no words, a statement I find that truly irritates me
For we live in a time of symbolic references, pictorial GIF’s and many colourful emoji’s
There is no reason for loneliness at this time of year
For many have a neighbor, work colleague, friends and family who should show they care
If we know anyone that has experienced loss, it’s actually safe to say
If they celebrate Christmas they are simply unwrapping tears on that day

I tell you this in a hope that this year you train your eye to see
The vulnerable hurting this month, the ones that in Christmas joy find misery
The ones too afraid to dampen your light, so they hide away in a darkened fear
Isolated and more alone as not to stifle your Christmas cheer
When you have suffered a loss, in my case, a child, Christmas time is simply the worse
Having children that are excited for a day of presents, the family gatherings, my heart feels as if to burst
For I no longer see a value or purpose in a time that makes me miss
the unity of all my children under the same roof, the smiles, and every child’s kiss

Remember every loved one, remember to let them feel that someone is there
If words fail you leaving you speechless, send a kiss, GIF or emoji to show you care
Never ignore the reach out post, no matter how hard their pain is to see or hear
Do not remain silent, do not ignore that message for behind the screen falls a lonely tear
Whether we celebrate Christmas or not, this season of joy brings a lot of unwanted pain
Remember under your sun of Christmas presents, in another home it’s torrential rain

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

1 thought on “Christmas”

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