Today I am not okay, today I ache from core painful feelings
Caused from life, people, events, circumstances like a thief in the night, they are stealing.
Bringing heartache, fatigue, sorrow, outrage and a real crippling fear
Bringing loneliness, helplessness, embarrassment and bitter secret tears
I am not the antecedent for these core feelings, but I have the responsibility to manage myself
Using self love, affirmation and deep compassion I must ensure to maintain my mental health
For if I ignore these emotions I will develop wounded feelings caused by negative thoughts
Opening the doorway to anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, resentment and in loneliness I will be caught
Slowly I am taking steps towards my healing is what I often say
But sometimes when I lay awake in the darkness it does not feel that way
I know I must take care of these core feelings in order to feel that inner peace
To reconnect with Joy, love, excitement, passion, aliveness these negative thoughts must cease
For to truly heal and have emotional freedom I must let go and stop the ruminating
Turn my heartaches and failures into something positive and start to glow within my situation
How easy is it to ensure our guilt remains a useful emotion
When wounded, emotional pain is what sent this into physical motion
Healing is a word we hear so often used, but to you what does it mean in silence
I read, it is a process of restoration that brings back an even balance
If your physically unwell your healing comes from a medical form or cure
But what of the psychological issues and scars that no one really saw?
When the trauma is in the mind there is no medicine to bring on your healing
Therapy makes use of the power of thoughts to help re program how we are feeling
Are we in control of the habitual destructive thinking that sits behind the smile?
Can use of positive affirmation and self compassion bring respite for a while?
Sometimes we need to gather with others as we cry those bitter cries
In death we need to stand with another as we gather to say that goodbye
Some hurts are a process that we cannot avoid we have to go through the stages
Some episodes we face feel relentless, impacting our lives and bringing upset for ages
When I was younger I was stripped from my innocence through years of trauma and pain
Then someone told me I was wonderful and fearfully made, looking in the mirror I told myself this over and over again.
In time I was transformed by the renewal of my personal thoughts and mindset
As I reintroduced myself to a strong beautiful woman, my heart could no longer forget
Then it was time to reach past the comfort zones, push through fear and speak my truth
This part for me is most difficult, removing masks, standing naked accepting my treatment was abuse
Then to change my mental language and see myself as an overcomer and not a victim
Was how I healed myself from the path and how again I will ensure to win.
We cannot heal if we sit in denial of our hurt, sadness, anger and guilt
The pillow provides little comfort when it alone holds the secrets of those tears spilt
Acknowledge those feelings, not suppressing those emotions reaching out and get support
Healing is about emotional freedom, restoration and liberation from those negative thoughts
Taking responsibility of our feelings and compassionately embracing them
Is what brings the real power of restoration back into the heart again
Healing is not easy, letting go can be a challenge I know this to be true
But as I lay here unable to sleep, I just wanted to share my thoughts with you
If you are surrounded by a situation that often makes you sad, resentful and causes you to cry
Take ownership of your feelings, use positive affirmations, give inner bonding a try.
Check out my novel Hello madness, Goodbye Joy. Out now on Amazon Kindle and paperback. Click link below