This post is part of a 4 part series.
I started college in 2016 as you can imagine with all that went on my GCSE’s were not the best
However in college things had calmed down I was winning at life’s test
That summer I went to my cousins party as I entered I saw some of the 30 boys
Concerned I took my cousin outside, I wanted to explain things away from the noise
I explained that there were people at the party that do not like me I said they had to leave
My cousin went to speak to the DJ to sort things out to my relieve
As I entered I was pushed back it was too late one of them had pulled a knife out on me
I looked up for help i saw my friend, he had known me since we were in primary
Betrayed again as they all stood back and simply looked on no one offered me any aid
How can this happen a second time, no one helped me the realisation laid.
I ran with all my might, I had to get away ducking in-between the cars,
I was not physically hurt that day but I felt the emotional scars
These were the days when youth gangs were building, increasing in negative activity
Girls influenced a man’s attitude as their presence influenced a man’s mentality.
One day after college I got on the 157 bus and I went to sit upstairs
A group of boys got on and I quickly became the target of their stares
The next thing I know three of them began to run at me
I did not have a weapon, but I grabbed my bag and swung it around confidently
Fooled by this gesture they stopped and walked away. Again my life was spared on this day
Angered once again, what had I done wrong, they chose to follow me, what did I say
Have you ever considered the effect of constant abuse and targeting
Does anyone every consider the emotions this treatment stirs within
Do you ever wonder how demotivating fear is, the struggle of not being in control
Just having someone watch you, deciding you have no right to grow
Do you know what it feels like to have a knife drawn on you thinking today may be my last
Do you know how hard it is when as a child the right choice causes you to become an outcast
I often ask would I still face this if I were just that little bit taller.
Many describe this as a thugs life but in truth it’s actually just trauma.
Check out my novel Hello madness good bye joy. Available to buy now on Amazon paperback and ebook.
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