Have you ever

Have you ever woken up just feeling flat

Despondent, uninterested in the world or any earthly fact

Not necessarily knowing what has caused you to feel that way

When asked “what’s wrong” despite much to tell, you have nothing to say

So much around you going on, it simply impacts your mood and the way you act

Without contact from anyone your eyes fill with tears but your pride stops you from doing that

Your thoughts are jumbled, clouded you cannot settle on one

Feeling so fed up you just want to escape your own head and run

Trying not to burden others you plant a smile on your face

Not wanting others to sigh so positivity you embrace

Isolated in a mental torture, all you sense is that dark hollow emptiness

Creating a sense of sadness, self imposed isolation to silence the screams of madness

Not wanting to be alone, but running from others being around

Unsure how to explain that beyond the realm of unhappiness is where you can be found

How you feel is more than just a low moment as it’s been present for a sustained period of time

Week’s then months go by even during good moments this feeling still niggles your mind

Encouragement from others actually causes you to feel disengaged and sometimes even worse

Do you ever try to rationalise why your life seems to feel cursed

“Pull yourself together” they say, if only things were that simple

To keep the smile on my face, bright, shinning, meaningful and real

Daily, I sense this feeling alongside irrational thoughts of anxiety

Fighting to keep it together as at home and work people depend on me

Constantly questioning if I even matter at all to those around me

Constantly hurting by the comments, the gossip, the unfairness of my reality

I always feel tired, yet I struggle to fall asleep

But as my alarm sounds I bounce onto my feet

Ready to start the cycle of another tormented day

Wondering will I finally break the chain so today does not end in the same tortured way

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link


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