Hear my plea

Guest post written by Rachel Rose MSc

I tried and failed…
Letting go feels like my hearts impaled
I thought i was doing what was right
But every step of the way you gave me a fight

I should have been firmer,
Should have been harder
I saw the signs and thought I could manage
But now through my personal things do you rummage

I was ashamed to admit my failings
That my own child was on the railings
Aged 13, Stealing, lying and smoking
And you’re not like your brothers who are excelling

Blame has been laid at my door by many
And i have to pick it up like a penny
Making a wish daily
That you my son would not fail me

Embarrassment and shame kept me in bondage
Your bad behaviour has made me a hostage
Inside I die everyday
To think my child i’d have to give away

You leave me no choice as your decisions override mine
Destruction of our home, my heart and my pride
You’ve decided that my voice and love you’ll deny
And push that boundary way past the sky

I sought help, really I tried
From friends to family, to social services I’ve cried
I disciplined, I counselled and I reasoned with you
Only For your behaviour to continually tell me fuck you

I don’t like the child you’ve become
my guidance and rearing you think are dumb
When I’m only trying to save you from the statistic you’ll become
But you’re hell bent on becoming a bum.

I set regimes and discipline for you to abide by
But somehow you think these rules to you don’t apply
I went wrong somewhere in this motherhood game
And I have to accept that its time to hand over the reigns.

I tried, I really did
It just really weren’t good enough for you kid.

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

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