This system

I believe we are in a system that designs young people to evolve
We are born then the first thing we receive is a slap, something I loathe.
Nothing is left to nature everything is influenced by man with expectations set by others
From baby we are forced to meet milestones in a system which conditions and controls our mothers

If my mother does not send me to school she is in trouble and can go to jail
If my teacher fails to teach me, or frequently isolates me they are justified in their exaggerated tales
If my mother over disciplines me social services will threaten to take me away
Yet at school they are allowed to neglect me, ostracise me why is abuse accepted in the academic way?

As a child I just want to fit in and gravitate to my environment all around
The only people willing to welcome you are criminals that’s where love for the lost is often found
The system has it that my parents have to always work simply to live so I am often left alone
I’m forced to grow up quickly lost in a system feeling like I’m grown

I lived what they call a transient life in and out of jail since the age of 15
Feltham was structured but the others you just sit around waiting to be seen
Prison can work, but for me I don’t think the overall focus is on what you can do and who you can be
I was often beaten up, stabbed a few times, I guess it’s my fault I committed the robbery.

My start in life was bad and this has impacted the choices I once made
For me I think prison made me, opened my eyes and showed me a new path to wade
My last stint inside woke me up and now I wish to straighten out my life
I won’t say that it has been easy, I will be lying if I said life was free from worries and strife

There are a lot of organisations now that help convicts to seek paid employment
Opportunity does come your way but the success is down to individual involvement
Violence is too desensitised it makes it easier for children to hit and lash out
It should not be an excuse but this system’s design is how many of these issues come about.

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Perspective

I read the paper, I watch the news I see posts on social media

I see young people killing one another victims or perpetrator not many are white but still from my area

I speak to friends and ask why do black people fear their own

I am told many are not over slavery, this and media presentation impacts how we are grown

I don’t understand why the crimes of my ancestors dictate how I am seen today

I don’t understand why colour defines crime and the words people say

I see people as individuals, you’re a bad person not your race or your community

Why do we cry racism just because the person is black or white, this notion is silly to me

I don’t see knife crime as an issue that affects me or directly my family.

Knife crime as I see it is mainly a black issue as more black people seem to be involved from what I see

The younger generation are impacted, white kids try to make themselves look like the great I am and act black

I said this comment to a black friend of mine and she was offended and returned in a verbal attack

She asked why does the negative attributes of another race have to be measured characteristics of black.

She does not understand as that is how it’s seen amongst the younger generation it’s just a matter of fact

I am frightened for my son and nephews to walk through London streets

As now a days being young can cause you to be attacked and knocked off your feet

I no longer feel this is a colour war, and don’t think white people get a fair representation

We, today are punished for our ancestors beating other coloured ancestors on a plantation

I never did that yet I am disliked by many, simply because I am white

Black’s should not be separated for a colour that too is not right

In 2019 I don’t feel racism is as rampant as it once has been

I feel white people are now victims as hatred has been built up from within

Mindsets of the past have caused our nation to be divided

Not everything done is due to colour, sometimes it’s just two individuals that have collided

If we as a nation put colour aside and just treated people as fair individuals

Could we combat crime and reduce many families from holding night vigils

Black children are falling but the white community cannot understand

As knife crime is seen as black crime as the knife is in their hands

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

New beginnings

Finally

I rise with a smile as I feel the lifting of a heavy weight

I rise with a smile in the hope that today and every circumstance for me will be great

I rise with a smile as I can now except not everyone I loved actually in return loved me

I rise with a smile knowing that this does not affect my inner abilities.

I rise with a smile believing that grief no longer controls me, but I now control it

I rise with a smile knowing that I will still at times feel the impact of where grief bit

I rise with a smile feeling that I am now ready to move on

I rise with a smile but still miss the one that has since moved on

I rise with a smile knowing tears one day will fall again

I rise with a smile knowing this situation has revealed for me true friends

I rise with a smile cleansing the wounds of my once broken heart

I rise with a smile encouraged, motivated and excited to embrace a new start

I rise with a smile validated by my truth and confident in whom I chose to be

I rise with a smile knowing what I chose for myself may cause others to turn from me

I rise with a smile as I claim my new identity

I rise with a smile as the phoenix now becomes me

I rise with a smile as like the Phoenix I take my strength from the “son”

I rise as the phoenix excited my new beginning has finally begun.

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Is prison enough

As I lay staring at the ceiling a thought came to my mind. Is prison enough?

Immediately after a brutal attack the comments commence and people start to cuss

Deport them and their families lock them up and throw away the keys

Attacks against the leniency of our British judicial system follows and this troubles me.

As I feel anyone, child or adult with so much anger/fear inside clearly has a need

Poverty, growing without or being deprived from progressing due to lack of employment will stunt the growth of a seed.

Absent parents, abuse, disrupted, or no education will impact the way in which we grow

Grooming, trauma, mental health decline, impacts the mind greatly as we all know

Loss, or silence that replaces love will always leave a void

The transition from child to adult takes you from holding mummies hand to an image society wishes to avoid.

As children we are fully dependent on adults to meet our every need then we go to secondary/high school

The moment we put on this uniform without transition we are left to fend in a world unbalanced by self-entitled fools

In an instance we are thrown from the pot into the flame, having to fight, act tough to ensure we have a name

Trying to fit into a world where image plays such a significant role, no child wants to be different, they want to belong and look the same.

Then comes influence of peers but as many arrive home there is no one there to discuss it with

Cost of living is now so high, both parents have to work to provide and a decent lifestyle give

So, company falls to those you meet on the street, at school and in the local neighbourhood

They are friends, but influential all the same, now boredom and curiosity amongst peers is understood.

Some teenage angst and disruption, today 12 seconds changed their life

For today amidst fear and adrenaline this child has drew on another a knife

This child is sentenced under joint enterprise to murder and as he walks away you see him cry.

Now in total disbelief the reality sets in, my actions caused another to die.

Behind bars there is a program, restorative justice to help them see the errors of their way and bring conviction to the heart

A change is seen while incarcerated but when they leave no job, what programs and support is out their to promote a strong positive start.

If you come out to the same friends, same environment, same influences, is it then not only a matter of time

Before you’re again faced with the same temptations that caused you to engage in crime

Prison cannot be the only answer as it simply reacts to crime once it is committed

We need proactive strategies in place that will cause many antecedents to be remitted

If the child is lost in poverty with addiction in their face from young

Then surely to help that child we have to exploit where the vulnerability begun

Don’t just focus on the young person and condemn them with the words your mind tells you to say

Let’s take action against the reason the child has turned out this way

Explore the emotion behind the behaviour and in life let’s try to rearrange

The influences that cripple them to advocate for a life changing and sustained change

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

The lost voice (updated)

That powerful feeling you feel when a baby says early words

The laughter that fills the air, when they say something absurd

The excitement that bubbles inside, the first time they call your name

A surge of love arises you will never again be the same.

As the voice matures, the cuteness becomes a moan.

Oh please shut up in irritation adults will groan

The excitement subsides when the whining child cries out your name

the tone of their screams simply drives you insane

but what if like me in an instance that voice was gone

what aching melody would be in your hearts song

that voice of love, never to be heard again

your son, daughter, husband, wife or best friend

to never hear them again to call your name

with a broken heart and bitter tears could you again be the same.

don’t take for granted the voice of love, I hope you listen up

for today I rise to go to grave to sing happy birthday and cry as I look up.

For we become complacent allowing anger to create a divide

We tarry in apologising not wanting to resolve it first because of our ego and pride

But how would you feel if that gap was permanent and love was lost in silence

Would it have been worth losing all this time for, would your heart wish to express what it truly meant.

Today is my lost voices birthday, I wish for nothing but to hear that voice again.

If your lost voice is still living, make that call, do that visit before having such a choice really ends

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

I wish

A question that rests on the lips of the nation is “when will it end”
A question that scratches the mind of the bereaved parents “your joking it’s happened again”
The victim feels the sting as the blade tears through his/her flesh cutting through muscle
The parents feel the ache of broken heart syndrome and nothingness as they are forced to continue life’s hustle
The world feels the grip of fear as the negativity and rage flows through the brain
Hatred forming in the hearts of many as they will never see their loved one again

I am a mother on a decline and I do not know what to do
Hearing of yet several more stabbings has made my nightmares push through
Constant gossip and negativity has caused pain and chaos to again be all around
Sleep has almost vanished as in my head just my nightmares can be found
I am so confused and feel alone with clouded thoughts wet with misty rain
I am forgetting how to live again some times I struggle to remember my name

Resentment, anger, hurt, the ache the tears they return to squeeze my throat
Joy is packing a bag, she wishes to set sail on pains life boat
I scream and cry for I yearn for her to stay with me and draw nigh
But I cannot see the path to that lake as tears they blind my eyes
What can we do to start this change right here as we sit and read this post
What can we each do right now to prevent more young people from becoming a ghost

I wish the government better supported disadvantaged homes so parents can seek work life balance
I wish all children were afforded the same opportunities so each of them received a strong academic chance
I wish families worked with schools effectively to seek positive solutions and outcomes
I wish many would drop their pride and when they need help call out so aid can come

I wish teachers saw that every child has potential, some have hidden deep behind rejections heavy door.
Some don’t seek change but some children are trapped and no longer see hope anymore
I wish the language of mild disruptive behaviour was seen to be a cry for help
I wish the police were seen as law enforcement and not an image to beat us with injustices belt

I wish I embraced this fight and educated myself to advocate for youth needs
Before it landed on my doorstep and it was my son lay dying as he did bleed
I hope you will chose today to unite in this fight to stop another families cries
Yesterday it was me, today someone else tomorrow it may be your loved one to die

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

The reason why

I grew with the saying “Do good unto others and the good will come back to you”

Give and it will come back to you, with good measure and in abundance, blessings will come through

I used to wonder do many give simply to receive or do we give because we are in a position to bless another.

Do you give with a clean heart to meet the receivers needs, or are you giving for self praises from a sister or brother

When you give, do you do with the intention that the receiver is delivered from their current situation

Or do you give to promote an image to the world that appears empathetic in daily conversations

I wonder how many give because they have a saviour complex and their egos need to feel grand

I questioned myself do I give to look good or do I genuinely want to pull another from sinking sand?

Do you give wisely, or do you bless others so much that you hurt yourself?

Are those you give to really in need or do they themselves seek easy wealth

If you gave and then when you had a need that same person could not bless you back

Would your empathy and love for them, then get the sack

What if you gave from a good place but the recipient responded in a negative attack

Would your heart change, would you retract and take the gift back

If you gave and the recipient did not utter a thanks would the lack of gratitude give you pain

Would this deter you in the future from reaching out and trying to help again

When you give does it come from an unselfish place that needs no glory or praise?

Are you just that somebody that when a need arises a helping hand you raise?

I ask those that often give of themselves how many are at your feet to take

When you then have a need does good measure return to bless your plate?.

If the answer is no, honestly, giver are you hurt do you actually care

That when you then require a helping hand the path is clear as no one seems to be there

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch