Blog

I wish

A question that rests on the lips of the nation is “when will it end”
A question that scratches the mind of the bereaved parents “your joking it’s happened again”
The victim feels the sting as the blade tears through his/her flesh cutting through muscle
The parents feel the ache of broken heart syndrome and nothingness as they are forced to continue life’s hustle
The world feels the grip of fear as the negativity and rage flows through the brain
Hatred forming in the hearts of many as they will never see their loved one again

I am a mother on a decline and I do not know what to do
Hearing of yet several more stabbings has made my nightmares push through
Constant gossip and negativity has caused pain and chaos to again be all around
Sleep has almost vanished as in my head just my nightmares can be found
I am so confused and feel alone with clouded thoughts wet with misty rain
I am forgetting how to live again some times I struggle to remember my name

Resentment, anger, hurt, the ache the tears they return to squeeze my throat
Joy is packing a bag, she wishes to set sail on pains life boat
I scream and cry for I yearn for her to stay with me and draw nigh
But I cannot see the path to that lake as tears they blind my eyes
What can we do to start this change right here as we sit and read this post
What can we each do right now to prevent more young people from becoming a ghost

I wish the government better supported disadvantaged homes so parents can seek work life balance
I wish all children were afforded the same opportunities so each of them received a strong academic chance
I wish families worked with schools effectively to seek positive solutions and outcomes
I wish many would drop their pride and when they need help call out so aid can come

I wish teachers saw that every child has potential, some have hidden deep behind rejections heavy door.
Some don’t seek change but some children are trapped and no longer see hope anymore
I wish the language of mild disruptive behaviour was seen to be a cry for help
I wish the police were seen as law enforcement and not an image to beat us with injustices belt

I wish I embraced this fight and educated myself to advocate for youth needs
Before it landed on my doorstep and it was my son lay dying as he did bleed
I hope you will chose today to unite in this fight to stop another families cries
Yesterday it was me, today someone else tomorrow it may be your loved one to die

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

The reason why

I grew with the saying “Do good unto others and the good will come back to you”

Give and it will come back to you, with good measure and in abundance, blessings will come through

I used to wonder do many give simply to receive or do we give because we are in a position to bless another.

Do you give with a clean heart to meet the receivers needs, or are you giving for self praises from a sister or brother

When you give, do you do with the intention that the receiver is delivered from their current situation

Or do you give to promote an image to the world that appears empathetic in daily conversations

I wonder how many give because they have a saviour complex and their egos need to feel grand

I questioned myself do I give to look good or do I genuinely want to pull another from sinking sand?

Do you give wisely, or do you bless others so much that you hurt yourself?

Are those you give to really in need or do they themselves seek easy wealth

If you gave and then when you had a need that same person could not bless you back

Would your empathy and love for them, then get the sack

What if you gave from a good place but the recipient responded in a negative attack

Would your heart change, would you retract and take the gift back

If you gave and the recipient did not utter a thanks would the lack of gratitude give you pain

Would this deter you in the future from reaching out and trying to help again

When you give does it come from an unselfish place that needs no glory or praise?

Are you just that somebody that when a need arises a helping hand you raise?

I ask those that often give of themselves how many are at your feet to take

When you then have a need does good measure return to bless your plate?.

If the answer is no, honestly, giver are you hurt do you actually care

That when you then require a helping hand the path is clear as no one seems to be there

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

A thought.

I read a comment under an article about the young croydon mayor

The owner of the post had asked why such news was not shared questioning if we even care

The question was asked why do we make videos of people fighting go viral

Causing negativity amongst young people to grow as the belief they can do good is still a denial

The author of the post stated that we are more predisposed to negative content

Ignoring the good that others do, this statement caused many to vent

But is it true are we more mentally and psychologically stimulated by drama?

Do positive posts get ignored as feel good messages surely will leave us feeling calmer

Many felt as a society we only share videos of fights perpetuating crimes that cause others to bleed

I ponder as I reflect does negative content over positive content definitely lead?

Positive content shared on social media is skimmed or ignored rarely does it gain maximised attention

We say negativity is demoralising yet our reading habits prioritise negative information.

When your standing in a shop would a headline “Boy leaves school with 12 GCSE’s” motivate you to purchase the paper

As much as “ Teen stabbed waiting for his school dinner” or details of an infamous serial raper

A recent headline stated “Man died in police custody and returned to his family with no brain

This stood out for me over any other headlines even those with a positive gain

Why is it that we as a society invest time and financial capacity into that which causes pain

Why are we stimulated by headlines with no real wealth or spiritual gain

What is it about the human race that negativity, gossip , slander and distain can have us communicating

While good news gets one worded responses, likes, a bit of talking but no real promotional demonstrating.

Everyone will remember details of the young boys fighting by Weatherspoons in Croydon, or the lesbians attacked on the bus.

Everyone will come together to insult the culprits and share our dislike, disappointments and disgust

Many will discuss the negative imagery our young people now hold on the streets

But how do we balance those negative images so young people have positive image choices to meet

If life is an echo to what we give out, should we therefore not invest our time in positive praise?

Is it not essential that we focus more on the positive and train our minds to seek positive content to gaze

Programs like “When they see us”caused me anguish, heartache and pain seeing what these men went through

But really without this horrific trauma they would not have been able to do the great things they all now currently do

Would the film have been as popular if the main focus was on the works they do today

Why do you think the human mind has been programmed to feel stimulated in such a negative way.

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

Please support and get your copy today and share the link with family and friends. All proceeds will be used to host youth workshops and programs. We can collectively make a difference.

I challenge you

Today’s post is a challenge from myself to you

I challenge you to allow another thought process to shine through

I challenge you to silence the negative gossip and speak words of Life

I challenge you to stand up and say all is well even though you may be faced with worries and strife

I challenge you to look in the mirror and say I have overcome

I challenge you to stand in victory when pain asks you to run

I challenge you to tell your tears to flee for they have no place here

I challenge you to silence that voice that says no one cares

I challenge you to say I am loved, even if you feel alone

I challenge you to tell someone your love them and ignore that negative groan

I challenge you to channel positive energy and today shout out I CAN

I challenge you to say, I may not have won just yet but I am a worthy woman/man

I challenge you to smile for today I appreciate your being

I sit on the train and evaluate how your love and support created this being

I challenged myself as I was becoming lost again wandering in the dark

I fought to see some light it was not easy, surviving is no walk in the park

But today I challenge you to stand in truth if weakened take someone’s hand

Today I ask you to challenge your circumstances in life, do you know your plan?

Some may feel they are worthless but to someone you are their smile

Some may feel isolated and alone but someone would love to hold you for a while

Some may feel broken, desolate in a famine situation

Someone is closer than you know waiting for permission to enter in

So go through your phone call a friend, go out and just embrace the time

For just a moment stop what you’re doing and tell your circumstances I AM GOING TO BE FINE.

Get your copy of Hello madness goodbye joy by clicking the link below. From the ashes we can rise

OUT NOW

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

Missing

My handsome face in a picture with the caption, “help find missing boy in South London”

A request then follows to share the pic with all their followers, family and friends

100 plus shares, comments under articles with so many messages hoping that I am found

Where did all these peeps come from because when things were bad none of you chose to be around

Before this article, why was it so hard for you to see me or my need

Things were bad from time, I cried out but none of you saw that I needed to be freed

From young I had problems, yet no one seemed to notice. A bad child was all you saw

There was a lack of love, so I got into bare problems at school, all teachers saw was that I got low scores

Teachers saw anger, disobedience, disruption; I was sent to isolation humiliated on my feet

No one asked why, my mum would get a call and home I went for another severe beat

I ran away, but I was seen to be the bad one. How I was treated was simply ignored

My cries of what I was going through seemed to make others frustrated and many seemed bored

I was moulded to believe that my life meant nothing and no one cared

I was labelled and forgotten no one to love, nurture or steer

I was led to believe I was nothing, so nothing is what I simply became

Nothing disappoints me, as adults all seem to act the same

We are invisible to you until something happens or social media lists us as missing

Prior to the headlines I am just the feral kid, you all have been dissing

You come out now in numbers, but now I am missing; can’t you see it’s too late

The absence of love has left me uncaring, I feel heartless, no love is at my gate

Many missing children are in cunch trying to make some money

We’re carrying weapons for protection and yes I will use if I must and for that I am sorry

But the life I take is not my own, I don’t know them so don’t really care

I don’t believe in love anymore, it was your failing of me that put coldness there

I have looked for a job, and I’ve emailed out so many cv’s, but the answer is always no

Man needs to eat so off to cunch I often go

There is no real appeal, I am simply chasing wealth

Every job in this country can have an impact on your health

So before you click a button to share the missing child pic

What effort will you make to let them know you know they exist

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

Victims

Guest blogger

Hi my name is Karmar and I am a victim of knife crime.

I and my brother were stabbed by friends while he drank a bottle of wine

My brother was killed by his own friends in 2018.

My brother carried a knife so some say he deserved what happened to him

His murderer was caught but he never told us why

He mocked my mum as she started to cry

He laughed and told my mum “well I still win, I am not the one in my grave I am alive”.

He winked at me and walked away grinning and doing a little jive.

I remember the look, it’s in my head, I will never forget his face.

I hope he never forgets mine too, he laughed harder when mum said you’re a disgrace

When I heard my brother had died I became very upset,

Something seemed to leave me, but anger took set

I was wondering what was going on and I felt very very sad

The more I thought on it, the angrier I became, I felt myself getting mad

I wanted to leave and see my brother but I was scared to see him dead

I just remembered him playing with me and taking me to the shops instead.

My mum picked me up later and told me he was dead, she was screaming

She was screaming to everyone, no one could comfort I just thought what a thing

Everyone joined in, I was just crying I did not know what to say so just cried

My head could not understand or comprehend why my brother had died

I was more sad for my mum than I was for me because she cried a lot

Her tears still make me feel upset because her crying does not seem to stop

I still cry but I cry in secret because I don’t want anyone to see me

I think my mum is still cross but I don’t think I feel angry

I never want to see the boy that killed my brother as I know then I will be angry

I will want to avenge his death and beat out all my misery

I don’t even want to write this post as I want to stop talking about it

I want someone to find the right solution that can work and really fit

Around all young people no matter of there colour or creed

I want to open stories and positive things I have to read

Put up posters to warn people about how death makes you feel

Murder does not end in death of one, everyone’s life it tries to steal

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch

Hear my plea

Guest post written by Rachel Rose MSc

I tried and failed…
Letting go feels like my hearts impaled
I thought i was doing what was right
But every step of the way you gave me a fight

I should have been firmer,
Should have been harder
I saw the signs and thought I could manage
But now through my personal things do you rummage

I was ashamed to admit my failings
That my own child was on the railings
Aged 13, Stealing, lying and smoking
And you’re not like your brothers who are excelling

Blame has been laid at my door by many
And i have to pick it up like a penny
Making a wish daily
That you my son would not fail me

Embarrassment and shame kept me in bondage
Your bad behaviour has made me a hostage
Inside I die everyday
To think my child i’d have to give away

You leave me no choice as your decisions override mine
Destruction of our home, my heart and my pride
You’ve decided that my voice and love you’ll deny
And push that boundary way past the sky

I sought help, really I tried
From friends to family, to social services I’ve cried
I disciplined, I counselled and I reasoned with you
Only For your behaviour to continually tell me fuck you

I don’t like the child you’ve become
my guidance and rearing you think are dumb
When I’m only trying to save you from the statistic you’ll become
But you’re hell bent on becoming a bum.

I set regimes and discipline for you to abide by
But somehow you think these rules to you don’t apply
I went wrong somewhere in this motherhood game
And I have to accept that its time to hand over the reigns.

I tried, I really did
It just really weren’t good enough for you kid.

Hello madness goodbye joy a book written by Rachel Webb following the tragic murder of her 15 year old son is available now on Amazon. Click the link below to purchase your copy today.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1728855977/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540203435&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=hello+madness&dpPl=1&dpID=41k45GKLllL&ref=plSrch