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Blame Vs ownership and accountability

I grew up going to Sunday school and was told “let he who is without sin cast the 1st stone”
What I took this to mean was those without any wrong doing could chants blames groan
Growing up in today’s society we appear to have embraced a blame culture.
Seeing ourselves as super righteous, opinionated, always right and judgemental Voltaire’s

Deflecting our wrong doings on another, or simply expressing a vendetta which in our minds justifies the outcome recieved.
Just because it has not happened to us, we feel we have all the answers but in this thought process are we still not deceived?

In a relationship breakdown either Spouse will seek fault in the others behaviour to justify the end
They spend hours telling families what the other spouse did wrong and will even cry to friends

At work things go wrong but collectively we don’t own it as a team.
A few individuals will be singled out to hold the blame and only their errors will be seen
Failings in society, let’s blame the government, parents, teachers or put it on police brutality
Let’s blame single mothers, absent father’s or the young folk for their greed mentality

We critise every solution offered as we deem it not good enough, racist or further criminal profiling
With blame always our motive what real solutions does this narrative bring.
Telling me I am a bad parent for growing a monster, feral being or a thug
Will that change the outcome for the old lady who that child mugged

Cursing the police for having a negative perception within black people life
Does that act as the positive deterrent causing the young person to put down their knife
Blaming the teacher or other services that have failed to engage in your son or daughters care
Has that positively changed or influenced the blood shed we continue to see out there

Calling single mothers hoes, Ratchet, blaming them for the state of play we see
Has that dried the tears from the eyes as they bury many more of our communities babies
I agree everyone named above has to reflect and in the current climate take accountability
I feel ownership will trigger change more than blame as in ownership comes sustainability
For to me the community is like a body if one area is impaired then the whole bodily functions change.
Blame causes a defect as to blame you cut off in the hope your position is rearranged
Blaming others distances us from the problem and the negative impact the consequence makes
But does blaming others bring us closer to the resolution and drop the solution within our mental plate.

Together we will achieve more. Unity within our neighborhood, unity within our workplaces and home.
Unity within our community, our schools, push past blame then real solutions will bring hope instead of deaths groans.

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Acceptance for loyalty

I heard a mother speaking to her son advising him on how he does not need to worry about friends
She told him “following others will be your downfall it’s time to stand alone now, this silliness end”
He looked at her in disbelief with a sign of sadness waving from deep within
For we live in a society where a lot of value is placed on fitting in

I pondered on this and as usual I began to reflect on how easy this would be
Do I honestly feel valued and accepted based on the choices and decisions I make for me?
Acceptance, self-love, let go of negativity, know your circle and preserve your energy
But honestly do we exercise this when someone else’s thoughts differ from the truth you see.

Growing up it was an insult to be African people used this word to abuse one another
I was called Blick and laughed at, people mocked me for not having a fairer outer skin colour
I was mocked due to the way I spoke and told I am the whitest black girl some have met
Growing feeling not good enough for my own community others may grow turning their backs to forget

Imagine growing believing that you are not good enough, seeking acceptance that never comes
From loved ones and those around you causing you to feel lost with a deep desire to run
Imagine never feeling your truly fit in, no one around understands your situation or circumstance
Imagine having a different view for your life which is ridiculed and beaten from you at every chance.

Imagine someone wanting to control your thought process, your actions, your words and your way of life.
Simply because they believe they know better than you bringing relationship strife
Imagine feeling nothing you do is ever right or good enough
Simple because it does not resemble another person’s stuff

Imagine what you believe to be right to you is deemed wrong by so many
Causing you to live a secret or double life wearing several masks to maintain your secrecy
Imagine one day someone tells you it’s alright mate we are happy to take you as you are
How bright would you shine when your very being in this person causes you to be a star?

How beautiful would it feel to be understood and surrounded by someone who understands your language?
How amazing would it be if someone wrapped all those broken wounds with loves elastic bandage?
How loyal to such a person would you be when acceptance embraces you with a bang
Well my friend this is how some children and young people feel and they find this acceptance in what you call a gang.

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

What more can we do?

This post is to the parents as I am scratching my head wondering what are we to do?
I am fed up now of reading about another stabbing and I am sure you are too
This week I read an article of a young man stabbed to death at his brother’s funeral
This story caused my heart to bleed it was simply tragic and awful.

Another stating that three boys were stabbed in one day with one of the three arrested for the murder
Another article citing of a mother’s screams over her son’s dying body the whole estate heard her
Fathers, Mothers, what are we to do? Can we just sit and wait for someone else to find a solution?
Fathers, Mothers, this is our children’s blood staining the street we need to find a remedial conclusion

What more can we do to change this corrupt and deluded mind-set? Are children simply born this way?
Some say an individual is predisposed before birth, some are born to kill I have heard many say
Others have a narcissistic personality and have a strong desire to maintain control
If this is the case then are parents really to blame if this was the destiny of the child as it grows

Are we as the parents not the greater influence over the children as adults should we not protect?
Steer the child on the right path then as they grow, they should not forget
Mould them with discipline and in life ensure we do not spare the rod to combat the child’s spoilt responses
Grow them in love and teach aspirations so we have success stories and academic graduations oppose to deathly absences

As a parent do we mould our children or are they lost to the power of social media
Someone help me with an answer as deaths raging beast seem to be getting greedier
Is it nature or is it nurture, are children born bad or are they simply raised bad
Is it the poor treatment of the mother, or are they scarred by the poor influential or absent dad?

Are the parents the one that exposes children to detrimental factors such as sexual explicit behaviour
Physical or verbal agression is it only this life that creates a world where youth are now in danger
Can a child from a balanced home, grown with both parents and love draw a knife on another?
Or do we fail to act or respond appropriately to concerning situations and childhood concerns for face we try to cover.

Where does the disconnect start? Do we see a lack of empathy in their infant years
Or do we beat it out of our sons as we become frustrated seeing and hearing wingey tears
How many times are children told hold your tongue and mind your business?
To aid a parent’s shame and hide wrong doings within the home and keep those family secrets

Is it only when the mask of the killer comes off as they create their very first victim
That we see them or did they engage in anti social behaviour and petty crime with their childhood grins
As the parent can we see but choose to turn a blind eye hoping it’s just a phase
Are we really the instigators of this new childhood killer craze?

What is it that we do or fail to do that causes a child to conduct himself so?
As a mother I want to make a difference with my children so those who feel they have the answer please let me know.
I am often told I am a good mother and my children display manners and respect.

Yet in 2017 my son was a victim to a tragedy I can never forget.

To much young blood has soaked into the floor.

I don’t know what more I need to do but know I want to do more.

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

This system

I believe we are in a system that designs young people to evolve
We are born then the first thing we receive is a slap, something I loathe.
Nothing is left to nature everything is influenced by man with expectations set by others
From baby we are forced to meet milestones in a system which conditions and controls our mothers

If my mother does not send me to school she is in trouble and can go to jail
If my teacher fails to teach me, or frequently isolates me they are justified in their exaggerated tales
If my mother over disciplines me social services will threaten to take me away
Yet at school they are allowed to neglect me, ostracise me why is abuse accepted in the academic way?

As a child I just want to fit in and gravitate to my environment all around
The only people willing to welcome you are criminals that’s where love for the lost is often found
The system has it that my parents have to always work simply to live so I am often left alone
I’m forced to grow up quickly lost in a system feeling like I’m grown

I lived what they call a transient life in and out of jail since the age of 15
Feltham was structured but the others you just sit around waiting to be seen
Prison can work, but for me I don’t think the overall focus is on what you can do and who you can be
I was often beaten up, stabbed a few times, I guess it’s my fault I committed the robbery.

My start in life was bad and this has impacted the choices I once made
For me I think prison made me, opened my eyes and showed me a new path to wade
My last stint inside woke me up and now I wish to straighten out my life
I won’t say that it has been easy, I will be lying if I said life was free from worries and strife

There are a lot of organisations now that help convicts to seek paid employment
Opportunity does come your way but the success is down to individual involvement
Violence is too desensitised it makes it easier for children to hit and lash out
It should not be an excuse but this system’s design is how many of these issues come about.

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Perspective

I read the paper, I watch the news I see posts on social media

I see young people killing one another victims or perpetrator not many are white but still from my area

I speak to friends and ask why do black people fear their own

I am told many are not over slavery, this and media presentation impacts how we are grown

I don’t understand why the crimes of my ancestors dictate how I am seen today

I don’t understand why colour defines crime and the words people say

I see people as individuals, you’re a bad person not your race or your community

Why do we cry racism just because the person is black or white, this notion is silly to me

I don’t see knife crime as an issue that affects me or directly my family.

Knife crime as I see it is mainly a black issue as more black people seem to be involved from what I see

The younger generation are impacted, white kids try to make themselves look like the great I am and act black

I said this comment to a black friend of mine and she was offended and returned in a verbal attack

She asked why does the negative attributes of another race have to be measured characteristics of black.

She does not understand as that is how it’s seen amongst the younger generation it’s just a matter of fact

I am frightened for my son and nephews to walk through London streets

As now a days being young can cause you to be attacked and knocked off your feet

I no longer feel this is a colour war, and don’t think white people get a fair representation

We, today are punished for our ancestors beating other coloured ancestors on a plantation

I never did that yet I am disliked by many, simply because I am white

Black’s should not be separated for a colour that too is not right

In 2019 I don’t feel racism is as rampant as it once has been

I feel white people are now victims as hatred has been built up from within

Mindsets of the past have caused our nation to be divided

Not everything done is due to colour, sometimes it’s just two individuals that have collided

If we as a nation put colour aside and just treated people as fair individuals

Could we combat crime and reduce many families from holding night vigils

Black children are falling but the white community cannot understand

As knife crime is seen as black crime as the knife is in their hands

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

New beginnings

Finally

I rise with a smile as I feel the lifting of a heavy weight

I rise with a smile in the hope that today and every circumstance for me will be great

I rise with a smile as I can now except not everyone I loved actually in return loved me

I rise with a smile knowing that this does not affect my inner abilities.

I rise with a smile believing that grief no longer controls me, but I now control it

I rise with a smile knowing that I will still at times feel the impact of where grief bit

I rise with a smile feeling that I am now ready to move on

I rise with a smile but still miss the one that has since moved on

I rise with a smile knowing tears one day will fall again

I rise with a smile knowing this situation has revealed for me true friends

I rise with a smile cleansing the wounds of my once broken heart

I rise with a smile encouraged, motivated and excited to embrace a new start

I rise with a smile validated by my truth and confident in whom I chose to be

I rise with a smile knowing what I chose for myself may cause others to turn from me

I rise with a smile as I claim my new identity

I rise with a smile as the phoenix now becomes me

I rise with a smile as like the Phoenix I take my strength from the “son”

I rise as the phoenix excited my new beginning has finally begun.

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Is prison enough

As I lay staring at the ceiling a thought came to my mind. Is prison enough?

Immediately after a brutal attack the comments commence and people start to cuss

Deport them and their families lock them up and throw away the keys

Attacks against the leniency of our British judicial system follows and this troubles me.

As I feel anyone, child or adult with so much anger/fear inside clearly has a need

Poverty, growing without or being deprived from progressing due to lack of employment will stunt the growth of a seed.

Absent parents, abuse, disrupted, or no education will impact the way in which we grow

Grooming, trauma, mental health decline, impacts the mind greatly as we all know

Loss, or silence that replaces love will always leave a void

The transition from child to adult takes you from holding mummies hand to an image society wishes to avoid.

As children we are fully dependent on adults to meet our every need then we go to secondary/high school

The moment we put on this uniform without transition we are left to fend in a world unbalanced by self-entitled fools

In an instance we are thrown from the pot into the flame, having to fight, act tough to ensure we have a name

Trying to fit into a world where image plays such a significant role, no child wants to be different, they want to belong and look the same.

Then comes influence of peers but as many arrive home there is no one there to discuss it with

Cost of living is now so high, both parents have to work to provide and a decent lifestyle give

So, company falls to those you meet on the street, at school and in the local neighbourhood

They are friends, but influential all the same, now boredom and curiosity amongst peers is understood.

Some teenage angst and disruption, today 12 seconds changed their life

For today amidst fear and adrenaline this child has drew on another a knife

This child is sentenced under joint enterprise to murder and as he walks away you see him cry.

Now in total disbelief the reality sets in, my actions caused another to die.

Behind bars there is a program, restorative justice to help them see the errors of their way and bring conviction to the heart

A change is seen while incarcerated but when they leave no job, what programs and support is out their to promote a strong positive start.

If you come out to the same friends, same environment, same influences, is it then not only a matter of time

Before you’re again faced with the same temptations that caused you to engage in crime

Prison cannot be the only answer as it simply reacts to crime once it is committed

We need proactive strategies in place that will cause many antecedents to be remitted

If the child is lost in poverty with addiction in their face from young

Then surely to help that child we have to exploit where the vulnerability begun

Don’t just focus on the young person and condemn them with the words your mind tells you to say

Let’s take action against the reason the child has turned out this way

Explore the emotion behind the behaviour and in life let’s try to rearrange

The influences that cripple them to advocate for a life changing and sustained change

The paperback edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link