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Change is needed

Here we are nearly two years on and still we are asking why is this happening?
Young black faces on the news and in the paper, another stabbing, shooting these babies are still dying
Section 60 powers evoked but those stopped are the ones victims to this crime
No one understands what’s going on but our children are lost and angered by this rhyme.

They are feeling forgotten by society, oppressed by the law and neglected by hope
Our children are feeling ostracised in fear, choked in this nightmare unsure how they will cope

Anger rising, voices shrinking, disruptive behaviour appears
Who seeks the emotion behind the behaviour, isolation, suspension or expulsion from school who actually cares?
Young people are becoming angry with the world as everywhere they seem to face victimisation
Fear of their own image, fear of the law, frustrated with the community’s reactions

Tired of running, tired of looking over their shoulder, worried if this day may be their last
Fed up of trying, feeling defeated by circumstances, in a system that makes them feel like outcasts
Voices expressing a language that young people hear but adults tend to not know
Being told I’m done with you, hearing and seeing the increasing frustration from parents, police and teachers as they grow.

Due to lack of understanding and empathy for another’s struggle we simply blame the parents
But good parenting is not the only answer; parents themselves face racism and negative circumstances
Discrimination, segregation, unhealed pain they take it out on their children
Unknown to them they have not recognised the language of their own tribulations

The children then take it out on each other and society. For many, violence does do something to get rid of pain and anger.
If equality is out there for all then why are these children dying? Is there even a simple answer?
If poverty, is there enough money and opportunities available to make a change?
If parenting, are there resources available to support families to ensure parents can better engage

If education, can we implement better systems to manage disruptive behaviour instead of isolation
If we as a community really care about this can we please find soon an effective resolution
I understand that this issue is not new and knife crime has been around a while
But I still cry out for help as I wish to stop seeing children crying, I wish to celebrate their smiles.

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Check out my novel Hello madness good bye joy followinf the murder of my son Kyron Webb. Available to buy now on Amazon paperback and ebook. UK/USA

Click the link below

Role models

A role model is a person who serves as an example by influencing others.
A role model is found in our friends, workplaces, on the TV, in siblings, fathers and mothers
For many children, the most important role models are their parents and caregivers.
What is the detriment if these so called role models are inaccurate, negative leaders

Children look up to a variety of role models to help shape how they behave
In school, through relationships, or when making difficult decisions to bring about change
Having role models in our life is very important, and having good role models is essential
Positive role models influence our actions and motivate us to strive to uncover our true potentials

Role models are human; so they will make mistakes.
A slight interruption to a permanent change if positive is still in my opinion great
Parents who admit to their mistakes, learn from them, and strive to better
They motivate emotional growth in children as mistakes simply create a lessons learned letter

Society influences people by shaping their belief systems, controlling their behaviour and determining their values.
It sends these messages to individuals through the media, school curricula, community leaders, family and religious principles

Culture as an influence of behaviour takes the “nurture” side of the argument
It educates our children on their mode of communication, engagement and behaviour management
It impacts the influences of behaviour, our culture looks at the totality of any given society
Moulding our belief system, laws, morals, values, practices, attitudes, uniqueness and social variety

The actions, reactions, and thoughts of an individual are influenced by other people or groups.
Check the influences within your home and social circle do they uplift or stir issues like soup
Social influence may be represented by peer pressure, persuasion, other people’s issues and conformity.
Bad influences are all around on road, at school, on the tele and within our own families.

Be mindful of the intentions of those you have around your children and young people
I get everyone needs a break but remember not all intentions are good or even cool.

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Check out my novel Hello madness good bye joy. Available to buy now on Amazon paperback and ebook.

Click the link below

Another day

Autumn is transition from summer and shows us great beauty in the seasonal change
We see the leaves falling to the ground, and the temperature falls as the scenery is rearranged
Many begin to get excited as they realise that Christmas is approaching and almost here
As a child Autumn was once my favourite time of year

Now it is stained with the hardest memories and for me holds the darkest pain
Sleep seems to desert me, now I overeat and my real-life nightmares play out again
It makes me emotional as throughout the year I am convinced I have made some progress
Then Autumn comes and all the symptoms return, inside I seem to regress

I struggle to hold onto to reality, but my eyes can only see the past
My ears only hear those heartbeats fading away into darkness quite fast
My lips tingle at the coldness, I remember his forehead was clammy
As I gave him that last kiss as he slipped away silently

I am irritated when I see family fall outs as my mind whispers, they would care if the person dropped dead
I am outraged watching arguments and silly disputes as time is precious I scream please love instead
I hate hearing the words I’m done; I give up you’re nothing to me
For this same being will become majestic in the event their spirit is taken suddenly

Ugly trauma changes us, I was bitten and no matter how hard I try I am never going to be the same
I feel no comfort in life, I just ache for my memories my smile is buried in his name
My head is chaotic my thoughts dance in the silence of my brain
Depression rapes me during the autumn nights they make me feel I am going insane
I am embarrassed now as I feel the impact this is having on my mental health
I am embarrassed that I don’t seem to be able to sustain the positivity my brain feels like it’s riding stealth

I go up with speed and scream in excitement as I reach that peak in height
Then I take a turn go upside down I become scared but scream with fake delight
Then comes the mighty fall, down and down I go
Back at the bottom again I fake a smile in the hope that those around me won’t know

I am ashamed to know people follow me, look up to me and rely on my positive glow
But I have to be honest to maintain my sanity Autumn reminds me of death and causes that positivity to go
At day I smile and my words are encouraging for all those that gather around
The accomplice in a few months will be free but me I continue my life sentence alternating between a smile and this crippling frown

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Check out my novel Hello madness good bye joy. Available to buy now on Amazon paperback and ebook.

Click the link below

It’s easy

In a bid to prevent knives being sold to our children and teenagers
Laws have been designed to impose fines, convictions in a bid to reduce recent dangers
people who buy blades online must collect them in person with relevant ID
I decided to check this rule out and this is how it worked for me.

There is a Facebook AD that always shows dresses and swimwear and other items consist
I downloaded the app, scrolled a little before realising it had many items on its list
The thing that caught my eye was a knife set from China. In just a click, it was mine
Without having to prove my identity, age or gender, I just ordered a large engraved knife set for £2 online

New Government proposals are said to ensure online shoppers must collect knives in person,
Yet a week later my order arrived, standard post, no ID request I was left confused and hurting.
How do we prevent children from ordering such knives, it was so easy I just don’t understand.
A few clicks on a laptop and bladed weapons are placed inside my hands

The law says blades cannot be delivered to private properties such as the buyer’s home.
It came to my doorstep, so this is how are zombie knives, swords and other bladed items are on the street left to roam
I find myself asking is this the real agenda for children and young people to destroy their seed and kill.
As I see a rise in the capitals violence, but still very little to help the nation heal.

Did you know it’s not illegal to carry a pocket knife with a blade at 2.5 inches.
Why is that? as this used wrongly can still cause bodily harm, blood loss, fatal wounds and stitches.
Everyone asks, why do you think these young people carry with fear decorating their face?
The question we need to ask is how they are obtaining the weapons in the first place

If you commit an offence under the Criminal Justice Act 1988 of selling to a person under 18, the maximum penalty is a fine and six months’ imprisonment. How is this policed online behind a screen?
If you commit an offence under the Knives Act 1997 regarding the way a knife is marketed and sold, the maximum penalty is a fine and two years’ imprisonment but if I can obtain online, how do we keep knives off the road?

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Check out my novel Hello madness good bye joy. Available to buy now on Amazon paperback and ebook.

Click the link below

Trauma

Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that impacts the mind
It alters our ability to cope, revealing excess stress that can leave us emotionally blind
Symptoms include nightmares, sleep disturbance, agitation and fatigue
Some turn to alcohol, sexual promiscuous behaviour, self harm or mind altering substances such as weed
Trauma may appear through rape, domestic abuse, wrong love or just witnessing violence
Our children are being exposed to such images but they are trapped in a deadly silence

Daily we are seeing stabbings on the street, violence on the screen, videos of violence everywhere
For some it seems to excite, anger, fuel discussions but in some witnessing trauma will appear
Headlines and comments are still condemning children and young people very little discuss their mental care
Our children are suffering, their spirit is dying but there body remains here
Imagine watching your friend being attacked, a pool of blood gathering as you stand their in shock and despair
Imagine feeling the very thing could now happen to you, can you imagine that fear

The helplessness, the sadness, the anger and guilt that you did nothing but stop and steer
Imagine trying to find the words to explain the horror to family, friends or even police that were not there
Imagine the shame, the real pain for knowing your silence is a must if you don’t want your life to end
Imagine how bad you would feel knowing your silence will be part of the reason the perpetrator gets away with killing your friend

It is easy to look at ones behaviour and simply make judgement on what you think you know and view
But is it the behaviour we see or the emotion behind the behaviour that really drives you
I hear often we cannot use our past as an excuse for future actions but is this entirely true
As our past experiences teach us lessons some good, some bad but in these experiences our personalities come through.

A loving home alone is not the only thing that is designed to make you
Being abused, or raised in a broken home is not the only tool that can break you
Losing your confidence, your inner voice, your identity and your mind
Can re-wire your thinking, your behaviour and ability to conduct a daily grind
Trauma can be devastating and can alter our very own perception
If we address the mental health of our young can we encourage them to walk in a new direction.

Today audience this is my closing question.
Please can we discuss as I seek your interaction.

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Check out my novel Hello madness good bye joy. Available to buy now on Amazon paperback and ebook.

Click the link below

Sticks and Stones

Have you heard the saying sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me
Our elders often chanted this but in our own actions this seemed to be hypocrisy
For name calling causes low self-esteem, lack of confidence and can cause some to envy
Looking at what another has that makes them cool so long for this image to be
If insulted could you chant sticks and stones raise your head before composing yourself to walk away
Or would your emotional equilibrium be impacted by the negative words and insults that they say

As a child if every day you were mocked and told repeatedly that you are ugly
Called stupid, told you just get on my nerves, tackled and beaten as though you’re the ball in rugby
Ignored, violated, laughed at and mocked because you don’t fit in
How long would it take you to feel ugly, worthless, numb and unworthy within
If told you will amount to nothing, you’re my shame you’re such a disgrace
How long would it be before the smile is wiped off your face?

If words do not hurt why does being called fat cause an individual to stop eating food
Why does “shut up you fool” raise anger and instantly change a person’s mood
Why do the words of an angry parent uttered about a child down the phone to a listening friend
Embarrass and scar the child hearing causing hurt, a broken spirit, I believe words do offend
Cyber bullying uses words yet it drives some children and young people to commit suicide
Words crush the ego, cause the heart to ache, isolate and sorely bruise one’s pride

In a relationship hearing “it’s over” can throw a spanner in your wheel of dreams
“I hate you” can block your face from love as it’s disguised by the angry screams
Get out my house you make me sick, or do me a favour and die
These are sentences we say to others without physical violence these words make us cry
If we grow up hearing the words your useless, whatless, why did god curse me with you
As you grow older what spirit do you think will really shine through

As a mum I get tired and fed up, at times my words uttered to the children do not lead them to light
In anger my words hurt and embarrass them, at times I have even encouraged them to fight
I love them more than anything but my words at times do not make them feel so
For anger takes over my mouth and I lose that loving self-control
Then embarrassed I go in and utter my apology, we embrace, we cry I ask them to forgive me
But deep in my heart I wonder how deep have my words cut, now when they look in the mirror who do they see.

Words scar and the impact is invisible but believe me the inner turmoil can last for years
For you cannot unspeak the words, erase hearing them, erase the hurt, anxiety or the fear
If we speak life over our children, words or enrichment, self-growth, motivation and self-worth
Could we inject wisdom into the young person’s conscious could we impact the words they birth
For if love was their foundation could that love then be the ultimate key
Of self-validation, valuing life seeing great power and determination when they look inside to see

Could there very image be enough, be validated just as they are would they see self-worth
That when they see another that looks like them, they smile, nod in appreciation as oppose to fear or curse
Could that self confidence and self love cause you to extinguish another man’s rage
If instead of fuelling hatred we could respond and in love engage
If we plant and nurture the child in love when they are still a tiny seed
Would this give children the only powerful tool in life they need
You see “sorry I was angry” should no longer be a justified excuse
For what we call no manners is simply a child damaged by emotional abuse.

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Self preservation

After a traumatic experience the mind goes on alert as if the danger might return at any moment
I worried that a gun man waited behind every closed door, I was scared danger was imminent.
I hid my thoughts and self from others as I felt in doing so them I could protect.
Burying my emotions, Self imposed isolation is all I achieved in the shadows I still could not forget.

I felt my role in this nightmare was to protect my children and family from anymore hurt
I chose to help others, giving wise words and comfort while my mind sunk in negativity and dirt
While I strived to save others, I ignored my feeling trapped in my own bitter pain
My need I hid from many along with my struggles, physical needs and mental strain.

I took on a role to save the world but for me I only reserved neglect.
I did not feel I deserved the love so I took no action to self protect
It was then I realised that in expressing my truth I was allowing myself to be free.
In removing the fakeness and masks I allowed those around me to see

In order for those around me to survive they had to also see me pull through.
I had to change my narrative from them and say Rachel I am talking to you
Self preservation is not selfish but selfless towards myself and others In view
I stood crying in the mirror as I told the reflection it is now time to love you.

I had to learn to set limits and boundaries within the kindness I would show
Self preservation is a process, it takes practice and time to make the inner self grow
Perserverence is essential despite difficulties, obstacles, failure and others opinions
Preserving my personal energy from some around me at times felt bleak, lonely and grim

I learned on my journey that sincerity is to be reserved and given to only those that deserve it
Channeling my emotions giving them only to those who in my life truly did commit
To others like me who too through tragedy has forgotten to see themself
You are no longer who you used to be but you deserve to live, love, laugh and have good health

Take baby steps towards your healing make a plan and break it down into achievable tasks
Live for you, dont fake it to make it, validate what your going through put down that mask
Be true to your feelings, you are your fiercist critic, learn to be kind to yourself,
Your journey is personal to you, as is your growth and spiritual wealth

One day it will dawn on you just how precious your life is to others around.
Everything pertaining to your success In life inside you will be found
My message today is to self perservere one day my friend you will once again feel
It may not seem to be happening but each day you overcome a part of you secretly heals

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link