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It’s easy

In a bid to prevent knives being sold to our children and teenagers
Laws have been designed to impose fines, convictions in a bid to reduce recent dangers
people who buy blades online must collect them in person with relevant ID
I decided to check this rule out and this is how it worked for me.

There is a Facebook AD that always shows dresses and swimwear and other items consist
I downloaded the app, scrolled a little before realising it had many items on its list
The thing that caught my eye was a knife set from China. In just a click, it was mine
Without having to prove my identity, age or gender, I just ordered a large engraved knife set for £2 online

New Government proposals are said to ensure online shoppers must collect knives in person,
Yet a week later my order arrived, standard post, no ID request I was left confused and hurting.
How do we prevent children from ordering such knives, it was so easy I just don’t understand.
A few clicks on a laptop and bladed weapons are placed inside my hands

The law says blades cannot be delivered to private properties such as the buyer’s home.
It came to my doorstep, so this is how are zombie knives, swords and other bladed items are on the street left to roam
I find myself asking is this the real agenda for children and young people to destroy their seed and kill.
As I see a rise in the capitals violence, but still very little to help the nation heal.

Did you know it’s not illegal to carry a pocket knife with a blade at 2.5 inches.
Why is that? as this used wrongly can still cause bodily harm, blood loss, fatal wounds and stitches.
Everyone asks, why do you think these young people carry with fear decorating their face?
The question we need to ask is how they are obtaining the weapons in the first place

If you commit an offence under the Criminal Justice Act 1988 of selling to a person under 18, the maximum penalty is a fine and six months’ imprisonment. How is this policed online behind a screen?
If you commit an offence under the Knives Act 1997 regarding the way a knife is marketed and sold, the maximum penalty is a fine and two years’ imprisonment but if I can obtain online, how do we keep knives off the road?

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Check out my novel Hello madness good bye joy. Available to buy now on Amazon paperback and ebook.

Click the link below

Trauma

Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that impacts the mind
It alters our ability to cope, revealing excess stress that can leave us emotionally blind
Symptoms include nightmares, sleep disturbance, agitation and fatigue
Some turn to alcohol, sexual promiscuous behaviour, self harm or mind altering substances such as weed
Trauma may appear through rape, domestic abuse, wrong love or just witnessing violence
Our children are being exposed to such images but they are trapped in a deadly silence

Daily we are seeing stabbings on the street, violence on the screen, videos of violence everywhere
For some it seems to excite, anger, fuel discussions but in some witnessing trauma will appear
Headlines and comments are still condemning children and young people very little discuss their mental care
Our children are suffering, their spirit is dying but there body remains here
Imagine watching your friend being attacked, a pool of blood gathering as you stand their in shock and despair
Imagine feeling the very thing could now happen to you, can you imagine that fear

The helplessness, the sadness, the anger and guilt that you did nothing but stop and steer
Imagine trying to find the words to explain the horror to family, friends or even police that were not there
Imagine the shame, the real pain for knowing your silence is a must if you don’t want your life to end
Imagine how bad you would feel knowing your silence will be part of the reason the perpetrator gets away with killing your friend

It is easy to look at ones behaviour and simply make judgement on what you think you know and view
But is it the behaviour we see or the emotion behind the behaviour that really drives you
I hear often we cannot use our past as an excuse for future actions but is this entirely true
As our past experiences teach us lessons some good, some bad but in these experiences our personalities come through.

A loving home alone is not the only thing that is designed to make you
Being abused, or raised in a broken home is not the only tool that can break you
Losing your confidence, your inner voice, your identity and your mind
Can re-wire your thinking, your behaviour and ability to conduct a daily grind
Trauma can be devastating and can alter our very own perception
If we address the mental health of our young can we encourage them to walk in a new direction.

Today audience this is my closing question.
Please can we discuss as I seek your interaction.

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Check out my novel Hello madness good bye joy. Available to buy now on Amazon paperback and ebook.

Click the link below

Sticks and Stones

Have you heard the saying sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me
Our elders often chanted this but in our own actions this seemed to be hypocrisy
For name calling causes low self-esteem, lack of confidence and can cause some to envy
Looking at what another has that makes them cool so long for this image to be
If insulted could you chant sticks and stones raise your head before composing yourself to walk away
Or would your emotional equilibrium be impacted by the negative words and insults that they say

As a child if every day you were mocked and told repeatedly that you are ugly
Called stupid, told you just get on my nerves, tackled and beaten as though you’re the ball in rugby
Ignored, violated, laughed at and mocked because you don’t fit in
How long would it take you to feel ugly, worthless, numb and unworthy within
If told you will amount to nothing, you’re my shame you’re such a disgrace
How long would it be before the smile is wiped off your face?

If words do not hurt why does being called fat cause an individual to stop eating food
Why does “shut up you fool” raise anger and instantly change a person’s mood
Why do the words of an angry parent uttered about a child down the phone to a listening friend
Embarrass and scar the child hearing causing hurt, a broken spirit, I believe words do offend
Cyber bullying uses words yet it drives some children and young people to commit suicide
Words crush the ego, cause the heart to ache, isolate and sorely bruise one’s pride

In a relationship hearing “it’s over” can throw a spanner in your wheel of dreams
“I hate you” can block your face from love as it’s disguised by the angry screams
Get out my house you make me sick, or do me a favour and die
These are sentences we say to others without physical violence these words make us cry
If we grow up hearing the words your useless, whatless, why did god curse me with you
As you grow older what spirit do you think will really shine through

As a mum I get tired and fed up, at times my words uttered to the children do not lead them to light
In anger my words hurt and embarrass them, at times I have even encouraged them to fight
I love them more than anything but my words at times do not make them feel so
For anger takes over my mouth and I lose that loving self-control
Then embarrassed I go in and utter my apology, we embrace, we cry I ask them to forgive me
But deep in my heart I wonder how deep have my words cut, now when they look in the mirror who do they see.

Words scar and the impact is invisible but believe me the inner turmoil can last for years
For you cannot unspeak the words, erase hearing them, erase the hurt, anxiety or the fear
If we speak life over our children, words or enrichment, self-growth, motivation and self-worth
Could we inject wisdom into the young person’s conscious could we impact the words they birth
For if love was their foundation could that love then be the ultimate key
Of self-validation, valuing life seeing great power and determination when they look inside to see

Could there very image be enough, be validated just as they are would they see self-worth
That when they see another that looks like them, they smile, nod in appreciation as oppose to fear or curse
Could that self confidence and self love cause you to extinguish another man’s rage
If instead of fuelling hatred we could respond and in love engage
If we plant and nurture the child in love when they are still a tiny seed
Would this give children the only powerful tool in life they need
You see “sorry I was angry” should no longer be a justified excuse
For what we call no manners is simply a child damaged by emotional abuse.

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Self preservation

After a traumatic experience the mind goes on alert as if the danger might return at any moment
I worried that a gun man waited behind every closed door, I was scared danger was imminent.
I hid my thoughts and self from others as I felt in doing so them I could protect.
Burying my emotions, Self imposed isolation is all I achieved in the shadows I still could not forget.

I felt my role in this nightmare was to protect my children and family from anymore hurt
I chose to help others, giving wise words and comfort while my mind sunk in negativity and dirt
While I strived to save others, I ignored my feeling trapped in my own bitter pain
My need I hid from many along with my struggles, physical needs and mental strain.

I took on a role to save the world but for me I only reserved neglect.
I did not feel I deserved the love so I took no action to self protect
It was then I realised that in expressing my truth I was allowing myself to be free.
In removing the fakeness and masks I allowed those around me to see

In order for those around me to survive they had to also see me pull through.
I had to change my narrative from them and say Rachel I am talking to you
Self preservation is not selfish but selfless towards myself and others In view
I stood crying in the mirror as I told the reflection it is now time to love you.

I had to learn to set limits and boundaries within the kindness I would show
Self preservation is a process, it takes practice and time to make the inner self grow
Perserverence is essential despite difficulties, obstacles, failure and others opinions
Preserving my personal energy from some around me at times felt bleak, lonely and grim

I learned on my journey that sincerity is to be reserved and given to only those that deserve it
Channeling my emotions giving them only to those who in my life truly did commit
To others like me who too through tragedy has forgotten to see themself
You are no longer who you used to be but you deserve to live, love, laugh and have good health

Take baby steps towards your healing make a plan and break it down into achievable tasks
Live for you, dont fake it to make it, validate what your going through put down that mask
Be true to your feelings, you are your fiercist critic, learn to be kind to yourself,
Your journey is personal to you, as is your growth and spiritual wealth

One day it will dawn on you just how precious your life is to others around.
Everything pertaining to your success In life inside you will be found
My message today is to self perservere one day my friend you will once again feel
It may not seem to be happening but each day you overcome a part of you secretly heals

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Blame Vs ownership and accountability

I grew up going to Sunday school and was told “let he who is without sin cast the 1st stone”
What I took this to mean was those without any wrong doing could chants blames groan
Growing up in today’s society we appear to have embraced a blame culture.
Seeing ourselves as super righteous, opinionated, always right and judgemental Voltaire’s

Deflecting our wrong doings on another, or simply expressing a vendetta which in our minds justifies the outcome recieved.
Just because it has not happened to us, we feel we have all the answers but in this thought process are we still not deceived?

In a relationship breakdown either Spouse will seek fault in the others behaviour to justify the end
They spend hours telling families what the other spouse did wrong and will even cry to friends

At work things go wrong but collectively we don’t own it as a team.
A few individuals will be singled out to hold the blame and only their errors will be seen
Failings in society, let’s blame the government, parents, teachers or put it on police brutality
Let’s blame single mothers, absent father’s or the young folk for their greed mentality

We critise every solution offered as we deem it not good enough, racist or further criminal profiling
With blame always our motive what real solutions does this narrative bring.
Telling me I am a bad parent for growing a monster, feral being or a thug
Will that change the outcome for the old lady who that child mugged

Cursing the police for having a negative perception within black people life
Does that act as the positive deterrent causing the young person to put down their knife
Blaming the teacher or other services that have failed to engage in your son or daughters care
Has that positively changed or influenced the blood shed we continue to see out there

Calling single mothers hoes, Ratchet, blaming them for the state of play we see
Has that dried the tears from the eyes as they bury many more of our communities babies
I agree everyone named above has to reflect and in the current climate take accountability
I feel ownership will trigger change more than blame as in ownership comes sustainability
For to me the community is like a body if one area is impaired then the whole bodily functions change.
Blame causes a defect as to blame you cut off in the hope your position is rearranged
Blaming others distances us from the problem and the negative impact the consequence makes
But does blaming others bring us closer to the resolution and drop the solution within our mental plate.

Together we will achieve more. Unity within our neighborhood, unity within our workplaces and home.
Unity within our community, our schools, push past blame then real solutions will bring hope instead of deaths groans.

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

Acceptance for loyalty

I heard a mother speaking to her son advising him on how he does not need to worry about friends
She told him “following others will be your downfall it’s time to stand alone now, this silliness end”
He looked at her in disbelief with a sign of sadness waving from deep within
For we live in a society where a lot of value is placed on fitting in

I pondered on this and as usual I began to reflect on how easy this would be
Do I honestly feel valued and accepted based on the choices and decisions I make for me?
Acceptance, self-love, let go of negativity, know your circle and preserve your energy
But honestly do we exercise this when someone else’s thoughts differ from the truth you see.

Growing up it was an insult to be African people used this word to abuse one another
I was called Blick and laughed at, people mocked me for not having a fairer outer skin colour
I was mocked due to the way I spoke and told I am the whitest black girl some have met
Growing feeling not good enough for my own community others may grow turning their backs to forget

Imagine growing believing that you are not good enough, seeking acceptance that never comes
From loved ones and those around you causing you to feel lost with a deep desire to run
Imagine never feeling your truly fit in, no one around understands your situation or circumstance
Imagine having a different view for your life which is ridiculed and beaten from you at every chance.

Imagine someone wanting to control your thought process, your actions, your words and your way of life.
Simply because they believe they know better than you bringing relationship strife
Imagine feeling nothing you do is ever right or good enough
Simple because it does not resemble another person’s stuff

Imagine what you believe to be right to you is deemed wrong by so many
Causing you to live a secret or double life wearing several masks to maintain your secrecy
Imagine one day someone tells you it’s alright mate we are happy to take you as you are
How bright would you shine when your very being in this person causes you to be a star?

How beautiful would it feel to be understood and surrounded by someone who understands your language?
How amazing would it be if someone wrapped all those broken wounds with loves elastic bandage?
How loyal to such a person would you be when acceptance embraces you with a bang
Well my friend this is how some children and young people feel and they find this acceptance in what you call a gang.

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link

What more can we do?

This post is to the parents as I am scratching my head wondering what are we to do?
I am fed up now of reading about another stabbing and I am sure you are too
This week I read an article of a young man stabbed to death at his brother’s funeral
This story caused my heart to bleed it was simply tragic and awful.

Another stating that three boys were stabbed in one day with one of the three arrested for the murder
Another article citing of a mother’s screams over her son’s dying body the whole estate heard her
Fathers, Mothers, what are we to do? Can we just sit and wait for someone else to find a solution?
Fathers, Mothers, this is our children’s blood staining the street we need to find a remedial conclusion

What more can we do to change this corrupt and deluded mind-set? Are children simply born this way?
Some say an individual is predisposed before birth, some are born to kill I have heard many say
Others have a narcissistic personality and have a strong desire to maintain control
If this is the case then are parents really to blame if this was the destiny of the child as it grows

Are we as the parents not the greater influence over the children as adults should we not protect?
Steer the child on the right path then as they grow, they should not forget
Mould them with discipline and in life ensure we do not spare the rod to combat the child’s spoilt responses
Grow them in love and teach aspirations so we have success stories and academic graduations oppose to deathly absences

As a parent do we mould our children or are they lost to the power of social media
Someone help me with an answer as deaths raging beast seem to be getting greedier
Is it nature or is it nurture, are children born bad or are they simply raised bad
Is it the poor treatment of the mother, or are they scarred by the poor influential or absent dad?

Are the parents the one that exposes children to detrimental factors such as sexual explicit behaviour
Physical or verbal agression is it only this life that creates a world where youth are now in danger
Can a child from a balanced home, grown with both parents and love draw a knife on another?
Or do we fail to act or respond appropriately to concerning situations and childhood concerns for face we try to cover.

Where does the disconnect start? Do we see a lack of empathy in their infant years
Or do we beat it out of our sons as we become frustrated seeing and hearing wingey tears
How many times are children told hold your tongue and mind your business?
To aid a parent’s shame and hide wrong doings within the home and keep those family secrets

Is it only when the mask of the killer comes off as they create their very first victim
That we see them or did they engage in anti social behaviour and petty crime with their childhood grins
As the parent can we see but choose to turn a blind eye hoping it’s just a phase
Are we really the instigators of this new childhood killer craze?

What is it that we do or fail to do that causes a child to conduct himself so?
As a mother I want to make a difference with my children so those who feel they have the answer please let me know.
I am often told I am a good mother and my children display manners and respect.

Yet in 2017 my son was a victim to a tragedy I can never forget.

To much young blood has soaked into the floor.

I don’t know what more I need to do but know I want to do more.

Hello madness Goodbye joy

The paperback and ebook edition of my book “Kyron: Hello Madness Goodbye Joy” A true story based on he murder of my son Kyron Webb and the aftermath and trauma faced by his family and loved ones. The novel is live in the Amazon Store. It is available for you to purchase via this link